Each month the postman delivers to my doorstep a wealth of information capable of making me play golf better than Tiger Woods. Stuffed between 100-plus pages of this prestigious and world-recognized golf magazine is everything I need to know about playing golf.

It’s foolproof. Read it. Do it. Be scratch instantly.

After all, how can you miss with articles like: The Instant Power Move—Learn it in 10 seconds and add 30 yards today. (Since it took me longer than 10 seconds to read the article, did I void the warranty?). Or how about: Never Slice Again! … or How You Can Crush It!Now we’re talking. I can tilt my head for 10 yards, close my stance for 15 more, and try a baseball-swing turn to add another 20. (Let’s see, if I can drive the ball 225 already, with the 30 plus 10 plus 15 plus 20 … I’ll be at 300 before I leave the john.)

And then there’s How To Gain 25 Yards With A Bad Swing!Hey, I’ve got that one down without even opening the magazine.

Each month the tips come in, promising to make my game great. And that’s just with the big headlines. Once I get into the smaller headlines—217 ways to add 15 yards, master scary shots and hit pure putts—I’ll be unbeatable.

But let’s not get too over optimistic. These headlines are designed to sell magazines, not shave strokes. After all, golf is an imperfect game played by imperfect people. It can never be mastered … but it tends to make slaves out of its participants.

Yet, through years of in-depth research, we have come across a fool-proof way for the average golfer to lower his scores. And the best part of this proven method, is that one can immediately be shooting in the 70s without the hassle of different grips, swings, warm-ups, etc. (Guess we need to headline it with big type so you know it’s legit.)

How To Score In The 70s!

(You don’t think this was overkill, do you?)

First, don’t count the par 5s. It’s that simple. For the average golfer (20 handicapper), by eliminating the par 5s you eliminate between 20-24 strokes a round. That’s all you should need. But if your game requires a little more attention (those pesky rounds in the upper 90s), you may need to progress to step 2.

Second, only count the strokes where actual contact was made between the club and ball. This eliminates those stupid “penalty” strokes for OB, lost ball and water hazards. Hey, isn’t losing a golf ball penalty enough? Why do we need to be adding strokes to a card? This has got to be good for another half-dozen strokes per round.

And if that doesn’t get your score down to scratch, then move to step 3. Only count one stroke per club used. This means if you have to use the same club on two or more consecutive swings, you only count one stroke. (This really improves your putting stats.)

Now this may all sound somewhat unconventional when it comes to improving your game … but hey, how conventional is the article Eliminate 3-Putts when the actual how-to story tells you to hit your first put closer to the hole. That’s like saying Drive The Ball Farther Down The Fairwayby merely moving up to the forward tees. Oh wait, that was an actual tip in a golf magazine.

So why waste money on those national golf publications which falsely promise to improve your game when you can use this proven method and lower your scores immediately. And besides, the money you save on those subscription fees can be channeled into purchasing the new golf outfits you need to actually look the part of the scratch golfer you’ve just become.